Gnome Union and Rubber Elves
by abrainiac
Summary: Just a random chat between Kurt and Puck. Pretty awesome. Pretty random. Rated for language...  D


(A/N): Okay... so... this is... well, yeah. I _really_ wanted to right a little intro to it; to explain why the hell Kurt is chatting with Puck, but... never really happened. It's better on its own. So, I already said it; it's Puck and Kurt chatting online. And... yeah. That's it. Plot? What plot? *looks around* Read, review, ENJOY! =D

Disclaimer: (Completely and utterly stealing this disclaimer. Full credit goes to Appleinn4, who created it. It was too amazing not to use).

I don't own Glee.

But you know what I do own?

YOUR MOM!

Get it?

_**Diss**_claimer?

* * *

**Puckzilla:** Did you see last night's _Deadliest Catch_?

**CellophaneDolphin:** As surprising as it sounds, I did!

**Puckzilla:** woa I wuz ttlly kidding… u watch tht show?

**CellophaneDolphin:** I do. Why, do I not seem many enough to watch that show?

**Puckzilla:** no offnse dude, but… no

**CellophaneDolphin:** Well, you're partially right. I actually watched it with my dad for 'bonding time'.

**Puckzilla:** nd how did tht end up?

**CellophaneDolphin:** Badly. As to be expected. Anyway… why are you talking to me? Not to be rude or anything…

**Puckzilla:** lol its kool. im actually only tlkin to u cuz im bored.

**CellophaneDolphin:** Sorry to inform you, but I'm not that entertaining.

**Puckzilla:** idk, ur prtty funny… lookin!

**CellophaneDolphin:** *Facepalm* Well, if you'll be so kind as to excuse me, I have to go and take a shower…

**Puckzilla:** NO! DONT LEAVE ME! IM BORED!

**Puckzilla:** KURT?

**Puckzilla:** Damn. im bored.

**Puckzilla:** what 2 do…

**Puckzilla:** TITS! HUGE TITS!

**Puckzilla:** VAGINA! BOOBS! umm… OTHER GRLY PARTS!

**Puckzilla:** CAPSLOCK ABUSE!

**CellophaneDolphin:** Wow, I get back from my shower, look at my computer, and now I feel like barfing! Thank you, Noah!

**Puckzilla:** anetime prncess. woah… ur back! yay!

**CellophaneDolphin:** I feel the love… *sigh*

**Puckzilla:** did u have fun? u were gone 4eva

**CellophaneDolphin:** I had tons of fun. I met the gnome that lives in my shower drain.

**Puckzilla:** did u drop kick him?

**CellophaneDolphin:** Of course not! I'm more civil than that. He gave me a Canolli, and asked me to very kindly put my hair elsewhere!

**Puckzilla:** wow. duz he have lttle gnome babies?

**CellophaneDolphin:** Yeah. I've been feeding them little soap chips for years; didn't even know!

**Puckzilla:** wow thts amzing. r there other gnomes in pplz drains? is there like a gnome-2-gnome network?

**CellophaneDolphin:** There _was_. It got shut down, though; Facebook claimed that it was copyrighted.

**Puckzilla:** deprssing, dude. do they have gnome relief services?

**CellophaneDolphin:** Nope. They're considered a third world country; they're at war with the elves.

**Puckzilla:** ooohhhh tht sux. if gnomes live in shower drains… where do the elves live?

**CellophaneDolphin:** In your cookie jar.

**Puckzilla:** but… i dont have a cookie jar O.e

**CellophaneDolphin:** Twinkie jar, then?

**Puckzilla:** nope. but we do have this empty tub thing. thats prbly where they are

**CellophaneDolphin:** Ahhh… offer them a mint leaf! It lures them right out!

**Puckzilla:** are the gnomes edibl?

**CellophaneDolphin:** *rolls eyes* I don't know. Haven't tried yet. Anyway, if you catch them, put them in a jar, and shake, they spit sparks out of their butt!

**Puckzilla**: coluful sparks?

**CellophaneDolphin:** Definitely. Rainbows and 4th of July and all of that good stuff.

**Puckzilla:** hehe… perty!

**CellophaneDolphin:** Very. They light up my room at night. It's wonderful for meditation and skin care!

**Puckzilla:** i bet; tht shits pretty amazingful!

**CellophaneDolphin:** It really is. Also, you can shake them in a sequential order, and they'll go off like strobe lights!

**Puckzilla:** wudnt that be… idk… painful or somthn?

**CellophaneDolphin:** Not at all! They're made of rubbery mushrooms!

**Puckzilla: **like… shrooms? those things r BEAST.

**CellophaneDolphin:** So I've heard. And, really, again with the capslock abuse?

**Puckzilla:** Yuuuuup. ITS SOOPER FUN!

**CellophaneDolphin:** I'm sure. Listen, I've got to go to bed; otherwise, I'll have huge bags under my eyes tomorrow!

**Puckzilla:** so… ur goin to bed… mind if i join?

**CellophaneDolphin:** _Goodnight, _Noah.

**Puckzilla:** nite, prncess

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(A/N): Magical, right? This was literally a text convo that I had with my friend. She didn't know that I considered it writing gold. I'm Kurt, she's Puck. Of course I changed a few things, but it's pretty much the same thing. Anyway... pretty magical, right? Yup.

Reviews also feed the gnome in my shower drain... and I _do_ reply to them all (contrary to what I have been doing recently... =D)


End file.
